Everyone starts off with an idea or an estimate of how much the wedding will cost. However more often than not, due to inexperience, newly-wed couples end up in a state of shock at the end of the day.

Conventionally, the American tradition holds that the bride and his family will cover most of the costs, while the groom and her family is only required to take care of a limited number of incidentals.

Since this is the Nineties, any combination which works is permissable. For instance, if one family is very wealthy they may choose to foot most of the bill. Or the couple may opt to bear the wedding costs together, with or without their families' help.

If at all possible, have open discussions with everyone involved in the budgetary process. Let them know what you want and come to an agreement as to how the bills will be paid. Stay in charge. The last thing you want to happen to you is to have someone override your wedding plans just because he is paying for a large part of it. In my opinion, if the checkbook holder is trying to dictate the course of your wedding away from your original wishes, politely invite him to keep his money and create an alternative plan, even if this means a smaller wedding and reception. At least it stays YOUR wedding.